I’m back again for some more WWE predictions! SummerSlam, the biggest party of the summer. WWE’s last chance to get me back into wrestling full time before I have to make a decision on whether or not I’m going to Wrestlemania again next year. Right now, I’m firmly in the no column though.
Holy shit, this is going to be a long show. When you include the pre-show (which I won’t actually watch) there’s going to be 13 matches tonight. 13! Good lord, no thank you. Most of them don’t appear to have any real rhyme or reason either. I’m looking at you Zayn/Neville Vs The Dudley Boyz…
I don’t have the patience or the time to give my in depth opinion for each match, so this is going to be very much a speed round of predictions from me. Let’s get started!
Sami Zayn and Neville Vs The Dudley Boyz
Why does this match exist? If it was soley to get Neville and Zayn on the card, couldn’t we have just set up a 1 on 1 match and given them 10 minutes to blow our socks off?
Winners: Sami Zayn and Neville
12-man Tag Team Match
Too many cooks spoil the broth, just like too many tag teams tend to ruin a match. Much like with the ‘Divas Revolution’ WWE are just throwing everyone together and shouting “HEY, WE’VE GOT A TAG DIVISION! DO YOU LOVE IT YET?!” No, I don’t you haven’t done anything yet. Big fan of American Alpha in general though.
Winners: American Alpha
Cesaro Vs Sheamus
Considering we’ve already had 2 matches between these two in the last month and Cesaro won both. A best of 7 seems rather pointless. At least this way WWE are warning us about the amount of rematches they’re intending to do. Which is nice.
Sheamus picks up the win, probably dirty so that Cesaro can chase him down throughout the series. Easy booking.
Carmella, Becky Lynch & Naomi Vs Natalya, Alexa Bliss & TBD
The most interesting thing about this match is that Eva Marie got suspended for a wellness policy violation so now there’s a chance of a ‘mystery partner’. Unfortunately, it’s a replacement for the heel team. So no Bayley this time.
Winners: Carmella, Becky Lynch & Naomi
IC Title: The Miz (c) Vs Apollo Crews
I think WWE would be really stupid to put a title on Apollo Crews this early. I think it would really highlight his flaws and lack of character to have him shoved so firmly into the spotlight.
Winner: The Miz
Enzo Amore & Big Cass Vs Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens
How fun are Jericho and Owens as a team? I bloody well love it. Hopefully they’ll stick together for a little while as they genuinely entertaining and don’t seem to have much else to do anyway.
That said, I think Enzo and Cass will pick up the victory here, but I don’t think it really matters either way if I’m honest. They’re too popular that a loss won’t damage them, maybe it would be better for Jericho and Owens to win this first match.
Sidenote: Isn’t this a bit of problem that I immateriality assume that every WWE match will lead to a million rematches? I’ve been trained to think like it, but what’s wrong with having a one of awesome match? Nothing.
Winners: Enzo Amore & Big Cass
Tag Titles: The New Day (c) Vs The Club
It’s time for a change. The New Day have lost their sparkle, they’ve held the titles a long, long time and it’s time to mix it up. The Club have been booked awfully since debuting a few months back and now seem to have a comedy heel gimmick of their own. Rather than being the ass kicking machine we all want them to be, maybe this is the start of something really good for Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson though. Hopefully.
Winners: The Club
Women’s Title: Sasha Banks Vs Charlotte
Personally I would have held off on Sasha winning the title until SummerSlam. It would have been a massive emotional moment but now has been squandered. It does however make it slightly harder to predict the outcome of this match. Which, I will admit is rather nice.
In the end, I think Sasha will pick up the victory (unless the rumour of her also failing the wellness policy is true, in which case, Charlotte all the way)
Winner: Sasha Banks
US Title: Rusev (c) Vs Roman Reigns
Is this WWE’s way of punishing Roman Reigns? Can’t put him in the Universal title match, so we’ll give him a US title shot instead?! The worst thing WWE could do right now is take the title away from Ruzev, he’s only just starting to look competent again.
Luckily, I don’t think WWE are stupid enough to put the US title on Reigns, mainly because he’ll be back in the Universal fight in a week anyway, but I do think he’ll pick up the win. A nice DQ victory will keep him looking unnecessarily strong.
Winner: Roman Reigns (via DQ)
John Cena Vs AJ Styles
As much as I want to believe that AJ Styles will win a feud against John Cena, this being the 3rd match and all. I just can’t. Prove me wrong WWE!
Let’s face it, John Cena is so far past the point where wins and losses matter. It would actually be a crime not to have him put Styles over. The problem is, Styles isn’t a WWE guy. So thus Vince hates him. Hence why I think he’ll lose.
Winner: John Cena
Brock Lesnar Vs Randy Orton
It has to be Lesnar. Surely it has to be Lesnar?! My only concern is that Goldberg keeps trying to hype a match between the 2 (which would be awful) and I pray to the wrestling Gods he doesn’t interfere to set anything up for Wrestlemania.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
WWE World Championship: Dean Ambrose (c) Vs Dolph Ziggler
Sorry Dolph, I use to believe but years of wasting your talent means I don’t think you have a hope in hell in winning the big one ever again.
This is exactly what I thought the brand split would be by the way, I lower card talent being thrust into the title picture. Well it’s no good, Dolph has been almost exclusively pre-show the past year so it just looks like a mismatch.
If he somehow did win, I’d be more confused than delighted as well.
Winner: Dean Ambrose
WWE Universal Championship: Finn Balor Vs Seth Rollins
As much as I love Seth Rollins (and believe me I really do, he’s by a country mile my favourite right now) I can’t see him winning this either. If he did, it would be fantastic. A nice strong heel run for the first champion would put the Universal title (that name though) in a good place.
However, I think Finn needs it more. He’s been brought up and push hard, but to stop now would be like cutting his legs off.
Winner: Finn Balor